Conozco a la gente con sólo mirarle. Es como si fueran un código 
No pasan más de 10 minutos antes de que bien sea vaya regando todo y armando un mierdero, o, me ponga nerviosa por responsabilidades ajenas. Gracias por la bienvenida solteria de los treintas.

Purple

I used to go everyday to my college, drink coffe every morning and did what I was supposed to do. Everything seemed gray and sour. Since I was a kid, I fell in love with a particular person. He had wide straight eyebrows avobe a pair big dark brown round eyes. He told me a bad joke in the bronx of Bogota, Colombia and then my world flip and I started replacing some habits. Instead coffee I had smiles for breakfast. His room was a mess, his mom, came into the destroyed room looking for a cigarrete - "He alwas take the cigarretes" she said. I thought she had a nice shape and her hair was bright, blonde and beautiful and I also thought this was a marvelous universe into this place located in Soacha, Bogota, and it was.

The woods

 

I watched as the buildings of the city of New York were drawn and I believed that it was as small as the dust trapped between the windows, I felt inside me that perhaps it was not the best idea to go there to stay. I thought that everything outside the mountains and the protection of my friend Kim and the hotel staff in general would be unbearable. alcohol consumption and boat trips. Actually, it's as if none of those people really wanted to be there, they were just randomly placed, there was really nothing else to do. And there they were... Hailie and Gilbert, married couple, Hailie was American. She was blonde, of medium height and corpulent. Gilbert was a fairly good-looking, balding Serb. Apparently Gilbert had the ability to easily seduce women and be nice to anyone. Haile was rather shy and was just grateful to have the boy all women would want. She felt so proud of it, as if her life depended on her marriage. She watched over all his pretensions and bad jokes, and praised his egomania and narcissism to a sick point of demean herself.

Dizzy

They were there, always staring through my bedroom window. It was inevitable not to feel admired by those faces reflecting anxious thoughts to go out, so I always proceeded to put on makeup and wear something sexy. I pretended not to see them under any circumstances, but to feel them, understand them, please them and feel accompanied by them. I noticed how their hands were dirty while they held their cell phones, it was unbearable to think how much infection and putrefaction there would be in their rooms, in their beds, in their lipids, in their galleries. They are tired of the monotony and the burden of society, their cheeky hands rejoice in feeling the unknown, penetrating the softest and most defenseless sheets. They come with their unholy, dark, twisted thoughts but thoughts, nonetheless. They call me Eva and they used to shout my name behind their windows, begging for some mercy and company. Many of them with blank, frozen, static, twisted, dominating gazes. My name is Isabella and I feel that I can no longer harbor any more dark and erotic thoughts than those that are already stored, I no longer felt or thought; it just existed.

I felt dizzy, I felt nauseas and anxiety. Nothing that a long shower can not solve, or a call to someone in the middle of something, or both. I always feel for talking with someone to keep in silence the voices in my head. Some decisions may affect your mental health but promote your increases. That is a decision that each of us make every day. Choices and plans, and there I was, bending over my messy bed smoking some marijuana and vapes. Nothing else matters when you are tired all the time. Is a constant fight between me and myself, clean my room, get it dirty, repeat.

The new beggining

 

Anyone who feed me has my respect, I said looking into his eyes while I fixed the tables around the restaurant. He laughed about it and he could not stop staring at my boobs underlined by a leather black corset. I continued welcoming the guests, smiling at them and somehow drinking coffee and checking my messages on my Apple watch.

Sometimes I don’t know if I want to respond to those messages or just do it by inner, because nothing else can fill up the empty spaces to be towards a glass or a monotonous person. Any emoji or horoscopes advice result entertaining when is about the daily routine. I miss my students back in Colombia, I still remember their eloquences and heavy jokes, particularly in kids, so natural and spontaneous like it was an uthopy. I never had kids, because I decided to be a teacher.

There are some days that I don’t know what I want, who am I, where am I from or why am I doing here, but I just keep going. Other beer, Rodolfo Aicardi, fuck it. Well, I never thought loneliness could affect me in any sense. Because I thought I was self-sufficient enough to travel to first world and do whatever I want, in certain way I did, but, like everything in life, something is always missing, is like, even if with try our best is never going to be complete in every sense. I’m not smart enough to be sarcastic and it’s difficult for me to deal with people attitudes and behaviors. I can’t stand the lack of empathy or grateful. I don’t know where in world could get a friend like Stacy. She was blondie, green eyes, half American half irish. She was a whole story, bright and beautiful. I met her at the beautiful place of lake George. As soon as the earth spit me over there, I was grabbing a bottle of wine and a nicotine vape, everything was different from I expected, big houses made in wood, big yards, some houses had boats parked in the back yard.

Being sad is a nice mindset to inspire yourself to write. Maybe when I have died my texts will be famous because sounds stupid but, the things you do when you die are somehow worthier. Back to the story, I landed in a magical place, full of rednecks and chipmunks. The sky uses to have multiple colors and the horizons full of Adirondacks. My friend Kim and me were all over that place doing multiple drugs and living nature adventures. Talking about the guys that we’ve loved and the drugs we’ve made.

The beggining

 

Everything started when I was going to college and I saw an announcement stick into a dirty wall at the south of Bogota, Colombia. It said “We are looking for someone like you, give us a call” Like if it was a job proposal. I was pretty excited so I called and I set an appointment with the person in charged. There it was a middle age woman, curly hair, big hips, tits and some funny teeth in the front. Her name is Luisa. Luisa invited you to take a sit. You are looking at her asking to yourself many questions: Why is a small place like that painted with the walls in red or pink? Who is this woman? What are they looking for in someone like me?. All of these questions starting to disappear when suddenly the woman start taking her clothes off towards the computer